The Democrats are morons.

After eight years of Bush, one of the worst presidents to step foot into the White House, you would think the Democrats would have no problem winning back the oval office, right? No...they'd rather screw it all up, bicker among themselves like high school cheerleaders, and come across as being so incompetent that in the end people are going to vote for the Republicans again!

The worst part is that the two people causing all this mess, Clinton (Bill or Hillary - take your pick at which one is actually running) and Obama are probably the two least likely to get elected president. Say what you will about how far this country has progressed, but in a country where in some states a black man is 57 times more likely to be sent to jail on the same drug charges as a white man - there is sadly still little chance of a black man being elected president. And that's not even taking into account that the guy really isn't all that qualified for the job.

Only slightly less likely is a woman being elected. Now Hillary may be well known, and she has Bill on her side, but do the Democrats not realize how universally hated she is among a large portion of America? She is probably the one person who can be more divisive than Bush has been as president.

If the Democats were smart, they'd encourage, plead, beg, blackmail, or force Gore to run. He'd win in an absolute landslide over any of the guys the Republicans are thinking about nominating. But I do have to admit, a part of me really wants Romney to win the nomination and go against either Clinton or Obama. I'd love to see "mainstream" America have to choose between either a woman, a black man, or a Mormon. If that were to happen, Nader may finally have a chance.

Presidential Debates Suck

So I got to catch 20 minutes of the Republican debate last night on CNN. Besides the cheesiness of the whole youtube thing, one thing that really just bugged me was the amount of time talking about completely irrelevant and non-political topics. They had a bunch of questions about religion. "Do you believe every word in the bible" or something else about Jesus. Who gives a rat's ass? I don't care if the president is a Christian or worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as he does his job well. In fact, given the quality of the presidential candidates this year, I think I'm going to write in a vote for the FSM and his noodly appendages.

It sounds better than the 'Darkest President Yet'

A couple of hundred years ago, slaveholders came up with a unique way to make more slaves. Anyone that had even 'one drop of black blood' was black and therefore a potential slave. That theory was looked upon (rightly in my humble opinion) as a load of shit and debunked shortly after the Civi War. It then became vogue at somepoint in the 20th century to be a minority no matter where your parents were born or what you were doing in life. "I'm a quarter Navajo on my grandmother's side so I think I deserve a casino."

This is not a unique American phenomenom. For example, every Mexican seems to embrace their Indian side while completely ignoring their Spanish side and the fact that the word mexican is a derivative of 'mestizo' or mixed. The politicians love to play up their minority side as they think it will endear them to the common folk. Think of how often it has been mentioned that Mitt Romney doesn't care if he's the first Mormon president.

And with that segue, let's get to Barack Obama. It's been touted that he will be the first black president. But, there's a problem with his mother. She's white. And his dad isn't one of the 'historically' downtrodden blacks that America loves to hate. He's an immigrant from Kenya. We love to hate immigrants too but if reparations for slavery were to be made tomorrow, Barack wouldn't get a dime.

To a point, I can see why Mexicans embrace their Native side and mixed race people like Barack are called black. Genetically speaking, the darker skin tones are more dominant and people are judged by looks. (Duh!) But, Barack is not black. Just as Tiger Woods is not black. (His mother is Thai.) I am curious why Tiger, early in his career, was not touted as the next best, Thai golfer ever. Another post another time.

The obvious reason to call Barack the potential First Black President is that is sounds a whole lot better than the potential Darkest President Ever. Remarkably, some blacks don't want to vote for Barack because he's not black enough. Classy. Some white people don't want to vote for him because he'll be the first president to have an afro pick in the side table of the Lincoln Bedroom. Classier.

So, my top five reasons for voting for Barack Obama that have nothing to do with race or politics.

1. He smokes. It's been a long time since we've had a Commander in Cheif that smokes. It'd be great news fodder to see him lighting up after a meeting with the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

2. He's a great speaker. His voice soothes me. Barack could deliver the worst State of the Union but his voice would lull me to sleep like a babe.

3. It would piss off the Klan.

4. Saturday Night Live might actually be funny again. Wishful thinking.

5. His name is remarkably similar to Brak from Space Ghost and every time I hear it or read it, I can't help but think of gravy, monkeys and gym teachers.



For the record, I'm the son of an immigrant and an American. But, not nearly successful as either Barack or Tiger. Or as dark.