The sad state of politics summed up nicely.

This TIME article is one of those articles that says all the things I'd love to say but with the writing ability to make it sound a whole lot better than I ever could: How Dare You!

Here are a couple of the good parts:

Welcome to the wonderful world of umbrage, the new language of American politics. You would not have thought that the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly would be so sensitive. Sticks and stones and so on.

All this drawing of uncrossable lines and issuing of fatuous fatwas is supposed to be a bad habit of the left. When right-wingers are attacking this habit rather than practicing it, they call it political correctness. The problem with political correctness is that it turns discussions of substance into arguments over etiquette.

Ahoy bilge rats!

It be talk like a pirate day! However, these landlubbers need to realize that pirates didn't fight with machetes!

Salt Lake City police say two men dueled with machetes in a fight that ended with one person hogtied.

My question is - where were these two guys that there happened to be a couple of machetes laying around?

Blackwater ordered out of Iraq.

This is going to be an interesting turn of events in Iraq. After a recent shooting involving Blackwater personnel left nine people dead, the government of Iraq is banning the security contractor. In addition, a top Iraqi judge is saying that charges can be brought against Blackwater for the deaths, which contradicts "Order 17" which gives private security companies and their employees immunity from prosecution in Iraqi courts. Additionally, according to the Washington Post, "some security experts said it is unlikely that the Iraqi government could expel Blackwater because its contract is through the State Department."

So what happens now? Does the Iraqi government have the ability to decide what happens inside their borders yet or is the U.S. going to tell them what is best for them? If Blackwater is allowed to stay by the U.S. and nothing is done, will it breed more mistrust and resentment among the Iraqi people towards the U.S.? And if Blackwater is indeed forced to leave, will the military have to come up with an extra 2000 troops to cover the loss of Blackwater personnel?

Should be interesting indeed.

BTW - here is a not so unbiased video about Blackwater:

"Suck it, Jesus."

God bless Kathy Griffin. Say what you will about her, but no matter what, she's got balls. Here is an excerpt from her Emmy acceptance speech:

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

You can read the article here. As you can imagine, the shit hit the fan and the hypocrites came out of the woodworks condemning what she said as "obscene and blasphemous" along with "hate speech." Of course they are going to edit out the Jesus part on TV, which begs the question - what other countries around the world would scream blasphemy and censor TV when a religious figure is the butt of a joke?

What do California and Al Qaeda have in common?

They both ban smoking! And according to Iron Eagle III co-star and presidential candidate Fred Thompson, the Al Qaeda policy of no-smoking pushed some tribes in Iraq to support the United States. Now, I will admit that California won't cut off your fingers if you smoke, but if banning smoking is something that Al Qaeda would do, what does that say about California?

As for Thompson - it is good to see him getting comfortable with the whole "using your family to get votes" part of politics:

His cue to stop talking came from 4-year-old daughter Hayden, who came on stage with a bow in her hair to tug on Thompson's pants leg - drawing "oohs" from the audience.

Of course I doubt if his 47 year old son would've been able to draw any "oohs" from the audience, but hopefully next time he'll use his 41 year old wife instead, because she's kinda hot and has a nice rack.

It sounds better than the 'Darkest President Yet'

A couple of hundred years ago, slaveholders came up with a unique way to make more slaves. Anyone that had even 'one drop of black blood' was black and therefore a potential slave. That theory was looked upon (rightly in my humble opinion) as a load of shit and debunked shortly after the Civi War. It then became vogue at somepoint in the 20th century to be a minority no matter where your parents were born or what you were doing in life. "I'm a quarter Navajo on my grandmother's side so I think I deserve a casino."

This is not a unique American phenomenom. For example, every Mexican seems to embrace their Indian side while completely ignoring their Spanish side and the fact that the word mexican is a derivative of 'mestizo' or mixed. The politicians love to play up their minority side as they think it will endear them to the common folk. Think of how often it has been mentioned that Mitt Romney doesn't care if he's the first Mormon president.

And with that segue, let's get to Barack Obama. It's been touted that he will be the first black president. But, there's a problem with his mother. She's white. And his dad isn't one of the 'historically' downtrodden blacks that America loves to hate. He's an immigrant from Kenya. We love to hate immigrants too but if reparations for slavery were to be made tomorrow, Barack wouldn't get a dime.

To a point, I can see why Mexicans embrace their Native side and mixed race people like Barack are called black. Genetically speaking, the darker skin tones are more dominant and people are judged by looks. (Duh!) But, Barack is not black. Just as Tiger Woods is not black. (His mother is Thai.) I am curious why Tiger, early in his career, was not touted as the next best, Thai golfer ever. Another post another time.

The obvious reason to call Barack the potential First Black President is that is sounds a whole lot better than the potential Darkest President Ever. Remarkably, some blacks don't want to vote for Barack because he's not black enough. Classy. Some white people don't want to vote for him because he'll be the first president to have an afro pick in the side table of the Lincoln Bedroom. Classier.

So, my top five reasons for voting for Barack Obama that have nothing to do with race or politics.

1. He smokes. It's been a long time since we've had a Commander in Cheif that smokes. It'd be great news fodder to see him lighting up after a meeting with the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

2. He's a great speaker. His voice soothes me. Barack could deliver the worst State of the Union but his voice would lull me to sleep like a babe.

3. It would piss off the Klan.

4. Saturday Night Live might actually be funny again. Wishful thinking.

5. His name is remarkably similar to Brak from Space Ghost and every time I hear it or read it, I can't help but think of gravy, monkeys and gym teachers.



For the record, I'm the son of an immigrant and an American. But, not nearly successful as either Barack or Tiger. Or as dark.

Kids don't fly free

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.



Good thing they did this today as the Nepal Goat Sacrificers Union Local 242 is set to go on strike Friday.