Presidential Debates Suck

So I got to catch 20 minutes of the Republican debate last night on CNN. Besides the cheesiness of the whole youtube thing, one thing that really just bugged me was the amount of time talking about completely irrelevant and non-political topics. They had a bunch of questions about religion. "Do you believe every word in the bible" or something else about Jesus. Who gives a rat's ass? I don't care if the president is a Christian or worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as he does his job well. In fact, given the quality of the presidential candidates this year, I think I'm going to write in a vote for the FSM and his noodly appendages.

Every wonder what happened to Stringfellow Hawk?

It ain't pretty:

Jan Michael Vincent Video

Blackwater incident revisited.

So it appears the "government report" on the incident we talked about earlier was written by "a Blackwater contractor working in the embassy security detail". Not only that, but the report itself "doesn't mention civilian casualties" which is rather convenient given that a number of civilians were killed in the incident. Full story here.

And to make Blackwater's already bad day worse, the NY Times is reporting that

"A Blackwater USA employee under investigation in the killing last December of an Iraqi bodyguard in an off-duty confrontation was so drunk after fleeing the shooting that another group of guards took away the loaded pistol he was fumbling with, a report to a House committee said Monday."

The State Department's response was to give the bodyguard's family $250,000 compensation. However according to The Kansas City Star

the "payment proposed by the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad was too much, because it might lead Iraqis to "try to get killed so as to set up their family financially".

I bet the people or Iraq sit around and thank their lucky stars for the "protection" we're giving them...

The sad state of politics summed up nicely.

This TIME article is one of those articles that says all the things I'd love to say but with the writing ability to make it sound a whole lot better than I ever could: How Dare You!

Here are a couple of the good parts:

Welcome to the wonderful world of umbrage, the new language of American politics. You would not have thought that the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly would be so sensitive. Sticks and stones and so on.

All this drawing of uncrossable lines and issuing of fatuous fatwas is supposed to be a bad habit of the left. When right-wingers are attacking this habit rather than practicing it, they call it political correctness. The problem with political correctness is that it turns discussions of substance into arguments over etiquette.

Ahoy bilge rats!

It be talk like a pirate day! However, these landlubbers need to realize that pirates didn't fight with machetes!

Salt Lake City police say two men dueled with machetes in a fight that ended with one person hogtied.

My question is - where were these two guys that there happened to be a couple of machetes laying around?

Blackwater ordered out of Iraq.

This is going to be an interesting turn of events in Iraq. After a recent shooting involving Blackwater personnel left nine people dead, the government of Iraq is banning the security contractor. In addition, a top Iraqi judge is saying that charges can be brought against Blackwater for the deaths, which contradicts "Order 17" which gives private security companies and their employees immunity from prosecution in Iraqi courts. Additionally, according to the Washington Post, "some security experts said it is unlikely that the Iraqi government could expel Blackwater because its contract is through the State Department."

So what happens now? Does the Iraqi government have the ability to decide what happens inside their borders yet or is the U.S. going to tell them what is best for them? If Blackwater is allowed to stay by the U.S. and nothing is done, will it breed more mistrust and resentment among the Iraqi people towards the U.S.? And if Blackwater is indeed forced to leave, will the military have to come up with an extra 2000 troops to cover the loss of Blackwater personnel?

Should be interesting indeed.

BTW - here is a not so unbiased video about Blackwater:

"Suck it, Jesus."

God bless Kathy Griffin. Say what you will about her, but no matter what, she's got balls. Here is an excerpt from her Emmy acceptance speech:

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus," an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

You can read the article here. As you can imagine, the shit hit the fan and the hypocrites came out of the woodworks condemning what she said as "obscene and blasphemous" along with "hate speech." Of course they are going to edit out the Jesus part on TV, which begs the question - what other countries around the world would scream blasphemy and censor TV when a religious figure is the butt of a joke?

What do California and Al Qaeda have in common?

They both ban smoking! And according to Iron Eagle III co-star and presidential candidate Fred Thompson, the Al Qaeda policy of no-smoking pushed some tribes in Iraq to support the United States. Now, I will admit that California won't cut off your fingers if you smoke, but if banning smoking is something that Al Qaeda would do, what does that say about California?

As for Thompson - it is good to see him getting comfortable with the whole "using your family to get votes" part of politics:

His cue to stop talking came from 4-year-old daughter Hayden, who came on stage with a bow in her hair to tug on Thompson's pants leg - drawing "oohs" from the audience.

Of course I doubt if his 47 year old son would've been able to draw any "oohs" from the audience, but hopefully next time he'll use his 41 year old wife instead, because she's kinda hot and has a nice rack.

It sounds better than the 'Darkest President Yet'

A couple of hundred years ago, slaveholders came up with a unique way to make more slaves. Anyone that had even 'one drop of black blood' was black and therefore a potential slave. That theory was looked upon (rightly in my humble opinion) as a load of shit and debunked shortly after the Civi War. It then became vogue at somepoint in the 20th century to be a minority no matter where your parents were born or what you were doing in life. "I'm a quarter Navajo on my grandmother's side so I think I deserve a casino."

This is not a unique American phenomenom. For example, every Mexican seems to embrace their Indian side while completely ignoring their Spanish side and the fact that the word mexican is a derivative of 'mestizo' or mixed. The politicians love to play up their minority side as they think it will endear them to the common folk. Think of how often it has been mentioned that Mitt Romney doesn't care if he's the first Mormon president.

And with that segue, let's get to Barack Obama. It's been touted that he will be the first black president. But, there's a problem with his mother. She's white. And his dad isn't one of the 'historically' downtrodden blacks that America loves to hate. He's an immigrant from Kenya. We love to hate immigrants too but if reparations for slavery were to be made tomorrow, Barack wouldn't get a dime.

To a point, I can see why Mexicans embrace their Native side and mixed race people like Barack are called black. Genetically speaking, the darker skin tones are more dominant and people are judged by looks. (Duh!) But, Barack is not black. Just as Tiger Woods is not black. (His mother is Thai.) I am curious why Tiger, early in his career, was not touted as the next best, Thai golfer ever. Another post another time.

The obvious reason to call Barack the potential First Black President is that is sounds a whole lot better than the potential Darkest President Ever. Remarkably, some blacks don't want to vote for Barack because he's not black enough. Classy. Some white people don't want to vote for him because he'll be the first president to have an afro pick in the side table of the Lincoln Bedroom. Classier.

So, my top five reasons for voting for Barack Obama that have nothing to do with race or politics.

1. He smokes. It's been a long time since we've had a Commander in Cheif that smokes. It'd be great news fodder to see him lighting up after a meeting with the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

2. He's a great speaker. His voice soothes me. Barack could deliver the worst State of the Union but his voice would lull me to sleep like a babe.

3. It would piss off the Klan.

4. Saturday Night Live might actually be funny again. Wishful thinking.

5. His name is remarkably similar to Brak from Space Ghost and every time I hear it or read it, I can't help but think of gravy, monkeys and gym teachers.



For the record, I'm the son of an immigrant and an American. But, not nearly successful as either Barack or Tiger. Or as dark.

Kids don't fly free

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.



Good thing they did this today as the Nepal Goat Sacrificers Union Local 242 is set to go on strike Friday.

Sen. Larry Craig - "I'm not gay."

Story

I think this guy is getting railroaded. I mean c'mon, I think we've all walked into men's bathrooms, looked through the cracks in the doors, tapped our feet under the stall until we touch shoes with the guy in the next stall and wave our hands under the stall - right? That's totally straight behavior! Besides, the guy even says on his own website that his #3 goal is to "Defend and strengthen the traditional values of the American family." He's also voted against all sorts of gay rights bills, so he must be straight.

Of course there's the 2006 allegations of him being gay, but that must be a coincedence...

KY will not be covered

With the exception of spending money, making promises they can't keep and using the term "The American People," our government officials don't do anything. And what they do, they get wrong. Now there is talk about universal health care again.

Michael Moore's 'Sicko' makes the argument that our current system of healthcare is broken (whatever that means!) and he showed some people getting 'free' care in Cuba and France. The politicians take these and other anecdotal stories to heart and then try to do something so it looks like they are working. And, maybe, if they can get their friends, donors, spouses in on the action of creating a federal medical bureacracy, all the better. It's a classic case of create a problem, solve the created problem and then look good because the problem has been solved.

And as Americans, we feel that sense of entitlement. (i.e.-The French get free, quality healthcare and I have a $20 copay with my HMO. Boohoo.) This is not to say that the American healthcare system is perfect. It's not. And, eventually in a future post, I'll argue it's the government interference in healthcare that makes it worse off. But, no matter what we have now, I guarantee it's better than anything 100 overpaid Senators could come up with.

Less than a year ago, it was reported that the Army's Walter Reed Medical Center was dirty, crumbling and vermin ridden. A hospital for wounded veterans? Run by the government? Providing substandard care in substandard conditions? Oh yeah. Read this or that. The government can't take care of one hospital. How do politicians think the government will take care of hundreds of hospitals?

They can but the service will be poor and the cost will be huge. After 9/11, the government took over all screening of passengers getting on planes. The lines grew longer, a 'Security Tax' was added to all plane tickets and yet we are no safer than we were on 9/10/2001. There is no free with universal health care. Someone always has to pay. And I guarantee the service will be marginal at best.

To think a government run healthcare system will be better is foolish. They feds can't run the post office right, manage who's coming into the country or track Social Security recipients. I certainly don't want any government involved with my health.

Sloths Love Hockey

From The Panther - This is probably the first time sloths and hockey have been mentioned together.

Get Fuzzy

When beer drinking goes bad...

Bears eat man at beer festival
STORY
One of the best quotes ever:
"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Michael Vick Dogfighting

LINK

OK - I'm not one to usually rush to judgement, but f*** this guy! He says he had no knowledge of a dogfighting ring, but he has 54 pitbulls for the hell of it on his property. This is just sickening.

According to the indictment, dogs that didn't show enough fighting spirit, or that lost matches, were put to death by a variety of methods, including shooting, drowning, hanging and electrocution.

Man Eating Badgers used in Iraq?

Read all about it! Personally, I would've gone with wolverines or chupacabras.

Iraq government meets zero goals set.

It has been six months since the so called "surge" started and as of right now, the Iragi government has yet to meet any of the security or political goals set for it by the White House. At what point does "staying the course" become "too stupid to realize it ain't working?"

Link

Ron Paul is Bill Maher's Hero

Ron Paul is slowly getting my support. Also - Iron Balls is Ben Affleck's #1 fan.

Bush invokes executive privilege.

Read all about it.
First, Cheney says he isn't part of the executive branch, now this - whatever happened to "checks and balances"?

Here we go!

The place for Iron Balls to rant and give us his thoughts on politics, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.